{"id":1004,"date":"2019-07-12T11:32:00","date_gmt":"2019-07-12T11:32:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:30:08","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:30:08","slug":"email-del-12-de-julio-2019","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2019\/07\/12\/email-del-12-de-julio-2019\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 12 de julio 2019"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Xq3V5es1ACg\/XShunEWAhrI\/AAAAAAAAgyY\/vqnPX1EAR6kV32JwUsG81ivd9RSAm4uxwCLcBGAs\/s1600\/self_portrait_by_orson_welles.jpg?ssl=1\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"664\" data-original-width=\"550\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/self_portrait_by_orson_welles.jpg?resize=331%2C400&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-1005\" width=\"331\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Orson Welles. <i>Self portrait <\/i>(1965)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\n\u00a1Anteayer me puse tan solemne! \u00bfQu\u00e9 quieres decir con eso? Pues que me deshice de una maldita costumbre pretendidamente sana que ven\u00eda practicando con cierta religiosidad desde hac\u00eda un par de lustros. \u00bfMaldita costumbre? S\u00ed, y adem\u00e1s for\u00e1nea; de Okinawa para ser m\u00e1s exactos, que es una isla de Jap\u00f3n donde la mayor parte de la gente llega a centenaria. \u00bfY c\u00f3mo se llama esa jodida costumbre? \u00a1Maldita! \u00a1Maldita costumbre! Se llama \u00abHara hachi bu\u00bb, aunque no creo que ning\u00fan mediterr\u00e1neo pueda llegar a ser capaz de pronunciarla en okinawense, japon\u00e9s, ryukyense o valenciano. \u00bfPodr\u00edas tratar de explicar mejor c\u00f3mo te deshiciste de esa puta costumbre? \u00a1Maldita! \u00a1Maldita costumbre! Muy sencillo, envi\u00e1ndola a unos cuantos metros m\u00e1s lejos de donde suele encontrarse el vocablo que m\u00e1s uso en estos tiempos (que no es otro que \u00abmierda\u00bb en su forma simple o \u00abputa mierda\u00bb en la compuesta) y poni\u00e9ndome a tragar como un sapo al que le han predicho una pr\u00f3xima extinci\u00f3n masiva de insectos.<\/p>\n<p>Despu\u00e9s de comerme dos platos rebosantes de habichuelas la emprend\u00ed con otros dos de fritanga variada con patatas fritas cortadas con forma de <i>Turritopsis<\/i>. Para finalizar lo que termin\u00e9 llamando \u00abla gran renuncia asi\u00e1tica\u00bb me zamp\u00e9 ocho raciones de tartas antropof\u00f3bicamente variadas, dos caf\u00e9s solos y uno tocado con Magno (con el co\u00f1ac, no con el gel) y me fum\u00e9 un calique\u00f1o bastante arqueado. El resultado no se hizo esperar, pues al salir del restaurante mi ombligo atraves\u00f3 la puerta siete segundos antes que mi nariz, dotando a mi figura de una especie de aura graso-subcut\u00e1nea que me afeaba bastante, sobre todo cuando intentaba saltar una o varias sillas en ambas direcciones.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a1Hoy es un nuevo d\u00eda! \u00bfUn nuevo d\u00eda? S\u00ed, porque no es antes de ayer ni ayer. \u00a1Es hoy! Joder, qu\u00e9 guapo me pongo cuando no uso frases largas. \u00bfQu\u00e9 diantres tienen que ver las frases largas? \u00a1C\u00e1llate ya de una puta vez! \u00a1No quiero volver a escuchar ni una jodida pregunta m\u00e1s! \u00bfEntendido? El sol est\u00e1 alto y radiante y las chicas caminan ligeritas de ropa. \u00a1Se me hace la boca agua! \u00bfQu\u00e9 es lo que eres, un jodido semental salido? \u00a1Te lo advert\u00ed! \u00a1Te dije que ni una pregunta m\u00e1s! Se me hace la boca agua de pensar que en menos de media hora estar\u00e9 otra vez sentado en mi ambig\u00fa favorito devorando toda clase de pitanzas presentadas de una manera correcta aunque informal. \u00bfCre\u00eda que antes dijiste no s\u00e9 qu\u00e9 sobre las frases largas? Ya no puedo m\u00e1s. O te callas o te meto tres tiros. Naturalmente meterte tres tiros a ti es meterme tres tiros a m\u00ed. No hay diferencia, pero, \u00bfsabes? estoy bastante cansado de los dos.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Orson Welles. Self portrait (1965) \u00a1Anteayer me puse tan solemne! \u00bfQu\u00e9 quieres decir con eso? Pues que me deshice de una maldita costumbre pretendidamente sana que ven\u00eda practicando con cierta religiosidad desde hac\u00eda un par de lustros. \u00bfMaldita costumbre? S\u00ed, y adem\u00e1s for\u00e1nea; de Okinawa para ser m\u00e1s exactos, que es una isla de Jap\u00f3n [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1005,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/self_portrait_by_orson_welles.jpg?fit=331%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1004"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1005"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}