{"id":1178,"date":"2019-02-21T16:58:00","date_gmt":"2019-02-21T16:58:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:31:08","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:31:08","slug":"email-del-21-de-febrero-2019","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2019\/02\/21\/email-del-21-de-febrero-2019\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 21 de febrero 2019"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/-hvFhTGnRQv0\/XG7W6ou0YuI\/AAAAAAAAgMI\/1FRASMMaifEx2MkQXjFd42-5fB0uLzQKQCLcBGAs\/s1600\/big_97_gallery_art_DSC04193.jpg?ssl=1\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"714\" data-original-width=\"500\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/big_97_gallery_art_DSC04193.jpg?resize=280%2C400&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-1179\" width=\"280\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Eugene Ivanov. <i>Work with witnesses <\/i>(XXI century)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\n<i>Los casos de El churrero casta\u00f1ero ambulante Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez: El churrero casta\u00f1ero ambulante Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez contra el chacinero tocinero artesano Mart\u00ednez L\u00f3pez.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>\n-A la se\u00f1ora Car-me-la la golpearon justo en esta parte de su dor-mi-to-rio, bastante cerca de la puerta. El asesino o asesina se encontraba es-con-di-do detr\u00e1s de las cortinas. Luego ella, la pobre v\u00edc-ti-ma, camin\u00f3 como pudo, seguramente tam-ba-le-\u00e1n-do-se y au-llan-do de dolor por el pasillo hasta caerse sin fuerzas al lado de la es-ca-le-ra.<br \/>\n-Querido se\u00f1or Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez, gran churrero y casta\u00f1ero pero horripilante detective aficionado, a la se\u00f1ora no la golpearon en el dormitorio sino en el ba\u00f1o. Si el cad\u00e1ver de la pobre mujer est\u00e1 cerca de las escaleras es porque al salir del aseo camin\u00f3 hasta el sitio m\u00e1s cercano para morir como una dama.<br \/>\n-\u00bfY usted, se\u00f1or Mar-t\u00ed-nez L\u00f3pez, chacinero, tocinero de pro-fe-si\u00f3n, se cree Sherlock Holmes? Por como va vestido nor-mal-men-te nadie dir\u00eda que se dedica a los derivados c\u00e1r-ni-cos sino a&#8230;<br \/>\n-Ya s\u00e9, ya s\u00e9 a qu\u00e9 me parezco seg\u00fan usted, pues me lo ha dicho en numerosas ocasiones. Ni siquiera le voy a contestar lo que normalmente le contesto, aunque lo est\u00e9 deseando. En cuanto a mi caso&#8230;<br \/>\n-\u00bfSu caso? Yo lle-gu\u00e9 mucho an-tes&#8230;<br \/>\n-Pero la se\u00f1ora Carmela era la prima de la suegra de mi ex-vecina, por lo que me siento con pleno derecho de&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Despu\u00e9s de 35 minutos de conversaci\u00f3n cancer\u00edgena lleg\u00f3 una dotaci\u00f3n constituida por un sargento y tres agentes de la Guardia Civil y ambos detectives aficionados decidieron al un\u00edsono posponer por un instante la batalla. El sargento, un tipo con cara de <i>E pluribus unum<\/i> miocl\u00f3nico se sent\u00f3 sobre una silla y con un adem\u00e1n casi distinguido les amenaz\u00f3 con expulsarles del lugar del crimen si volv\u00edan a abrir la boca.<\/p>\n<p>-Pero sargento Mi-ra-vi-lles&#8230;<br \/>\n-Le avis\u00e9. \u00a1Ustedes dos, saquen a este imb\u00e9cil de aqu\u00ed!<br \/>\n-Sargento Mi-ra-vi-lles, si no me permite seguir aqu\u00ed, aunque sea de mi-r\u00f3n o apoyo ex-tra-o-fi-cial no tendr\u00e9 m\u00e1s remedio que contar a todos los presentes que usted en cierta ocasi\u00f3n que se-gu-ra-men-te recordar\u00e1&#8230;<br \/>\n-Est\u00e1 bien. Puede quedarse, pero haga el favor de cerrar el pico y no molestar demasiado.<br \/>\n-Sargento Miravilles, \u00a1muy bien dicho!<br \/>\n-Vaya, se\u00f1or chacinero tocinero artesano Mart\u00ednez L\u00f3pez. \u00bfSabe que la \u00faltima vez que mi mujer le compr\u00f3 panceta estuvimos de caguetas durante tres d\u00edas?<br \/>\n-Yo&#8230; yo, ejem&#8230;<br \/>\n-As\u00ed me gusta. Calladito. Bueno, vamos a ver qu\u00e9 cojones ha pasado aqu\u00ed. Usted Domenech, traigame un caf\u00e9. Usted Berlanga, llame a mi mujer y d\u00edgale que llegar\u00e9 sobre las cuatro. Usted Y\u00e1\u00f1ez, cu\u00e9nteme lo que ha sucedido.<br \/>\n-Pero sargento. Yo acabo de llegar con usted.<br \/>\n-Mierda, es verdad. \u00a1Oh, no! A ver se\u00f1or churrero casta\u00f1ero ambulante Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez, \u00bfqu\u00e9 co\u00f1o es lo que usted cree que ha sucedido?<br \/>\n-Sargento Mi-ra-vi-lles, le contar\u00e9, no lo que creo ha su-ce-di-do, sino lo que re-al-men-te ha sucedido.<br \/>\n-Sargento, el se\u00f1or Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez le va a contar una pel\u00edcula.<br \/>\n-\u00a1Callese, tocinero del demonio!<br \/>\n-\u00a1Perdone, mi sargento!<br \/>\n-Garc\u00eda, contin\u00fae.<br \/>\n-Gracias sar-gen-to. La se\u00f1ora Carmela se-gu-ra-men-te escuch\u00f3 un ruido y se levant\u00f3. As\u00ed. Luego se puso la ne-gli-g\u00e9 por encima, as\u00ed, y se dirigi\u00f3 al pa-si-llo, as\u00ed.<br \/>\n-Jajaja. \u00a1Es pat\u00e9tico!<br \/>\n-\u00a1Se\u00f1or Mart\u00ednez L\u00f3pez, no se lo volver\u00e9 a repetir.<br \/>\n-\u00a1Perdone, mi sargento!<br \/>\n-Garc\u00eda, contin\u00fae.<br \/>\n-Gracias sar-gen-to. Antes de que la se\u00f1ora pu-die-ra darse cuenta, el asesino sali\u00f3 de su es-con-di-te, la cortina, y la golpe\u00f3 en la ca-be-za con esta figura de m\u00e1rmol, as\u00ed&#8230; \u00a1Ay, ay, ay!<br \/>\n-\u00bfQu\u00e9 le sucede Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez?<br \/>\n-Mi hombro. Mi hombro. Se me ha dislocado el hombro. \u00a1Do-lor! \u00a1Do-lor!<br \/>\n-\u00bfQu\u00e9 es usted, una especie de mariposilla?<br \/>\n-\u00a1Se\u00f1or Mart\u00ednez L\u00f3pez!<br \/>\n-\u00a1Perdone, mi sargento!<br \/>\n-Se\u00f1or Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez, no tiene edad para actuar con esa fuerza&#8230; A ver, usted, Domenech, traigame otro caf\u00e9. Esta vez con un poco de Magno. Usted, Berlanga, vaya a buscar a un m\u00e9dico r\u00e1pidamente. Usted, Y\u00e1\u00f1ez, intente ayudar al se\u00f1or Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez.<br \/>\n-Yo lo llamar\u00eda la se\u00f1orita Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez.<br \/>\n-\u00a1Se\u00f1or Mart\u00ednez L\u00f3pez!<br \/>\n-\u00a1Perdone, mi sargento!<br \/>\n-\u00a1Ay! \u00a1Ay! \u00a1Do-lor! \u00a1Do-lor!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Eugene Ivanov. Work with witnesses (XXI century) Los casos de El churrero casta\u00f1ero ambulante Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez: El churrero casta\u00f1ero ambulante Garc\u00eda P\u00e9rez contra el chacinero tocinero artesano Mart\u00ednez L\u00f3pez. -A la se\u00f1ora Car-me-la la golpearon justo en esta parte de su dor-mi-to-rio, bastante cerca de la puerta. El asesino o asesina se encontraba es-con-di-do detr\u00e1s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1179,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1178","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/big_97_gallery_art_DSC04193.jpg?fit=280%2C400&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1178","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1178"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1178\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1179"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1178"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1178"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1178"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}