{"id":1426,"date":"2018-09-21T07:09:00","date_gmt":"2018-09-21T07:09:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:32:29","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:32:29","slug":"email-del-21-de-septiembre-2018","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2018\/09\/21\/email-del-21-de-septiembre-2018\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 21 de septiembre 2018"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-G3mmqDyAQtY\/W6SYktBlHgI\/AAAAAAAAc1Q\/asOL13CAj-YPz183nS2fzGUDDDwWNtktwCLcBGAs\/s1600\/fcd5d0c0db3f9098a3d1b3448501ce8f.jpg?ssl=1\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"632\" data-original-width=\"474\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/fcd5d0c0db3f9098a3d1b3448501ce8f.jpg?resize=300%2C400&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-1427\" width=\"300\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Autor desconocido. <i>Pr\u00edapo, Fresco del vest\u00edbulo de la Casa de los Vettii, <\/i>Pompeya (s. I d. C.)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\nHola:<\/p>\n<p><i>\u00abLos carteles avisando de la desaparici\u00f3n llevaban una foto de su pene, pues no exist\u00eda ninguna de su rostro que no tuviera un m\u00ednimo de 40 a\u00f1os y s\u00ed varias pornogr\u00e1ficas que su mujer hab\u00eda hecho cierto d\u00eda mientras retozaban. A partir del instante en que esa foto se hizo p\u00fablica las llamadas telef\u00f3nicas a la polic\u00eda fueron incontables. De todas, el comisario Moreno eligi\u00f3 3 como factibles e interesantes y desech\u00f3 el resto. La primera era de una mujer llamada Kiti \u00abla prorrogable\u00bb, una prostituta que se jactaba de no olvidar una polla nunca (sic) y que la situ\u00f3 el mismo d\u00eda de su desaparici\u00f3n en su propia boca. La segunda la hizo un tal Jerem\u00edas Chicote, escultor de profesi\u00f3n, el cual ubic\u00f3 el \u00f3rgano viril de Rom\u00e1n encima de 45 cm cuadrados de terciopelo rojo solo dos horas antes de que fuera denunciada la desaparici\u00f3n. Cuando el comisario Moreno le pregunt\u00f3 qu\u00e9 diablos hacia esa picha encima del terciopelo, Jerem\u00edas explic\u00f3 que llevaba varios d\u00edas modelando el pene de Rom\u00e1n en arcilla para fabricarse un pisapapeles grande. La tercera vino de otra mujer, la hermana de su esposa, que jur\u00f3 por sus hijos neonatos al comisario que esa foto del cartel era un fraude y no pertenec\u00eda a Rom\u00e1n, sino al amante de su hermana, un tipo raro llamado Goyo L. al que todos llamaban Goyo M.\u00bb<\/i><\/p>\n<p>\u00bfNo te parece absolutamente sensacional el p\u00e1rrafo anterior? Pertenece a un cuento titulado <i>El pene,<\/i> que escribir\u00e9 dentro de un par de a\u00f1os. T\u00f3mate ese extracto como un anticipo y disfr\u00fatalo. No todo el mundo puede presumir de haber le\u00eddo unas cuantas l\u00edneas de una obra que no existe. De lo que m\u00e1s orgulloso me siento es del t\u00edtulo, corto, directo y con cierto poder de persuasi\u00f3n, sobre todo para las mujeres heterosexuales y para ciertos camioneros apesadumbrados. Cuando escriba el cuento pienso sustituir el cl\u00e1sico vocablo \u00abFin\u00bb al final del texto, por un rasca de la ONCE que ir\u00e1 pegado a cuatro cent\u00edmetros de distancia de la \u00faltima palabra del texto, que tambi\u00e9n puedo adelantarte, ser\u00e1 \u00abaimosupurencia\u00bb. Por supuesto todav\u00eda tengo que pactar con los directivos de la Organizaci\u00f3n Nacional de Ciegos Espa\u00f1oles y con el inventor del vocablo \u00abaimosupurencia\u00bb, un tal Remigio Paredes, pero no creo que ni unos ni otro me pongan demasiados impedimentos.<\/p>\n<p>Greg<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Autor desconocido. Pr\u00edapo, Fresco del vest\u00edbulo de la Casa de los Vettii, Pompeya (s. I d. C.) Hola: \u00abLos carteles avisando de la desaparici\u00f3n llevaban una foto de su pene, pues no exist\u00eda ninguna de su rostro que no tuviera un m\u00ednimo de 40 a\u00f1os y s\u00ed varias pornogr\u00e1ficas que su mujer hab\u00eda hecho cierto [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1427,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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