{"id":1864,"date":"2016-03-21T08:30:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-21T08:30:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:34:54","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:34:54","slug":"email-del-21-de-marzo-2016","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2016\/03\/21\/email-del-21-de-marzo-2016\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 21 de marzo 2016"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-Y_IISDwWJMk\/VvJTwy4iZPI\/AAAAAAAAIf0\/XtVmu1TiXLYqO_tDIdiccUWB3WrUspyGw\/s1600\/still-life-french-novels.jpg%2521xlMedium.jpg?ssl=1\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" height=\"320\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/still-life-french-novels.jpg2521xlMedium.jpg?resize=400%2C320&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-1865\" width=\"400\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Vincent van Gogh. <i>Still life. French Novels<\/i> (1888)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\nA menudo los d\u00edas son dolorosos. Con demasiada frecuencia las noches se me hacen eternas. A veces, cuando no puedo escapar del aburrimiento interminable rehago el pasado o trato de imaginar el futuro. El presente se me antoja extra\u00f1o, por esa raz\u00f3n, la mayor parte de las veces no me atrevo ni siquiera a tocarlo. Esta noche ha sido larga y lastimosa, por lo tanto, podr\u00eda afirmar sin temor a equivocarme o parecer idiota que esta noche ha sido lamentable. Como a las tres de la madrugada ya no me quedaban ovejas que contar, decid\u00ed levantarme y me sent\u00e9 a escribir un cuentecito. Al final lo que ha salido de mi mente orinienta y enferma no ha sido demasiado malo, me parece, siempre y cuando evito pensar que he plagiado <i>Jaws (Tibur\u00f3n)<\/i> de Peter Benchley. Te contar\u00e9 de qu\u00e9 trata el argumento: una sardina enloquecida y asesina siembra el p\u00e1nico en el puerto de un pueblucho valenciano. Para tratar de poner fin a esa pesadilla, la alcaldesa bollera del municipio contrata a un taxidermista con incompetencia gl\u00f3tica cuya probidad deja mucho que desear y entre ambos intentan poner fin a la vor\u00e1gine homicida del pez clupeiforme. Cuando est\u00e1n a punto de darle caza a diez millas marinas de la poblaci\u00f3n, tienen que regresar al puerto ya que un juez ha cometido un error sint\u00e1ctico y la orden de b\u00fasqueda no tiene validez. Al parecer, dicho magistrado ha confundido a las anchoa con las truchas, de la misma manera que su prima Rafaela suele confundir los t\u00e9rminos \u00abDerrelicto\u00bb y \u00abMasturbaci\u00f3n\u00bb y su perro Ataulfo confunde los astr\u00e1galos con piedrecillas de r\u00edo. No voy a contarte el desenlace porque me da cierta verg\u00fcenza, sobre todo haber utilizado el vocablo \u00abFin\u00bb para expresar que el relato ha terminado.<\/p>\n<p>Ahora debo dejarte pues me siento completamente depresivo. Y recapacitar sobre ciertas mierdecillas con las que nos obsequia cada d\u00eda la vida no va a ponerme de mejor humor. Por cierto, \u00bfsab\u00edas que las babosas tienen cuatro narices?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Vincent van Gogh. Still life. French Novels (1888) A menudo los d\u00edas son dolorosos. Con demasiada frecuencia las noches se me hacen eternas. A veces, cuando no puedo escapar del aburrimiento interminable rehago el pasado o trato de imaginar el futuro. El presente se me antoja extra\u00f1o, por esa raz\u00f3n, la mayor parte de las [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1865,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1864","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/still-life-french-novels.jpg2521xlMedium.jpg?fit=300%2C240&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1864","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1864"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1864\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1865"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1864"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1864"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1864"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}