{"id":1986,"date":"2015-07-18T09:49:00","date_gmt":"2015-07-18T09:49:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:35:31","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:35:31","slug":"email-del-18-de-julio-2015","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2015\/07\/18\/email-del-18-de-julio-2015\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 18 de julio 2015"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/-tC5X1x5wROQ\/VaogLZ4Hr1I\/AAAAAAAAIRw\/22SU6SzdYO4\/s1600\/To%2Bcrown%2B%2528Farewell%2529%2B-%2BVladimir%2BMakovsky%252C%2B1894.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/To2Bcrown2B2528Farewell25292B-2BVladimir2BMakovsky252C2B1894.jpg?resize=340%2C400&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-1987\" width=\"340\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Vladimir Makovsky. <i>To crown (Farewell) <\/i>(1894)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>Ains:<\/p>\n<p>\nHoy tengo una boda. El despotricador anhed\u00f3nico va de boda. Pero, eso no es todo, pues no hace ni un mes asist\u00ed a una graduaci\u00f3n escolar. S\u00ed, el despotricador se trag\u00f3 una graduaci\u00f3n. \u00a1Con diploma incluido! De seguir as\u00ed, supongo que el pr\u00f3ximo paso es asistir a misa o una comida navide\u00f1a. \u00a1Con pavo incluido! Afortunadamente las comidas navide\u00f1as s\u00f3lo se producen en Navidad, aunque seg\u00fan me ha comentado un amigo que es sodomizado sistem\u00e1ticamente por un p\u00e1rroco rijoso, hay misas a casi cualquier hora del d\u00eda. \u00a1Con homil\u00eda incluida! Claro que si lo pienso podr\u00eda ser peor. \u00bfPeor que tragarse una boda, una graduaci\u00f3n, una misa y una comida navide\u00f1a?<\/p>\n<p>La boda es de blanco. Me refiero a que todos los invitados debemos vestir el color crom\u00e1tico de claridad m\u00e1xima. Incluso la ropa interior tiene que ser blanca. Todo la gente que ha tenido el privilegio de contemplarme en gayumbos sabe que el blanco no me favorece. Realza demasiado mis perfectas piernas, por lo que el resultado siempre es el mismo: suicidios en masa por envidia y celos.<\/p>\n<p>Los dos humanos que contraen nupcias desconocen por completo la que se les viene encima. Yo podr\u00eda adelantarles un par de cap\u00edtulos. Pero, \u00bfrealmente gano algo si les anticipo las inconveniencias? Casarse no es m\u00e1s que un tr\u00e1mite, un papel. El dinero tambi\u00e9n es un puto papel. Y el papel de v\u00e1ter es,l\u00f3gicamente, un jodido papel. Tambi\u00e9n es un papel nuestro paso por la existencia. \u00a1Es curioso! Una millon\u00e9sima de la millon\u00e9sima de la millon\u00e9sima de la millon\u00e9sima de la millon\u00e9sima de segundo despu\u00e9s del Big Bang, el universo ten\u00eda el tama\u00f1o de un guisante. Lo que no est\u00e1 claro es si era un guisante \u00abProvenzal\u00bb, \u00abOberon\u00bb o \u00abLincoln\u00bb. Ahora, despu\u00e9s de 13.798 miles de millones de a\u00f1os desde ese instante supremo, los humanos todav\u00eda se vinculan por medio de unos papelitos, unas firmitas y un \u00abS\u00ed quiero\u00bb.<\/p>\n<p>Y ni siquiera me voy a dignar en desvariar sobre el convite, esa especie de reuni\u00f3n pagana donde todo o casi todo est\u00e1 permitido, excepto insultar a los ancianos de cada familia o no depositar un cheque en el bolsillo de uno de los c\u00f3nyugues. S\u00f3lo de pensar que voy a acabar con un maldito Farias en la boca y cantando el \u00abHalo\u00bb de Beyonc\u00e9 me produce unas ganas enormes de saltar desde El Miguelete.<\/p>\n<p>\nG.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Vladimir Makovsky. To crown (Farewell) (1894) Ains: Hoy tengo una boda. El despotricador anhed\u00f3nico va de boda. Pero, eso no es todo, pues no hace ni un mes asist\u00ed a una graduaci\u00f3n escolar. S\u00ed, el despotricador se trag\u00f3 una graduaci\u00f3n. \u00a1Con diploma incluido! De seguir as\u00ed, supongo que el pr\u00f3ximo paso es asistir a misa [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1987,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1986","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/To2Bcrown2B2528Farewell25292B-2BVladimir2BMakovsky252C2B1894.jpg?fit=341%2C400&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1986","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1986"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1986\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1987"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1986"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1986"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1986"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}