{"id":2058,"date":"2015-01-09T10:07:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-09T10:07:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:35:56","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:35:56","slug":"email-del-9-de-enero-2015","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2015\/01\/09\/email-del-9-de-enero-2015\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 9 de enero 2015"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/laugh-now-2002.jpgBlog.jpg?ssl=1\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/laugh-now-2002.jpgBlog.jpg?resize=400%2C301&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-2059\" height=\"301\" width=\"400\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Banksy. <i>Laugh now<\/i> (2002)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\nAinsssss:<\/p>\n<p>\nEsta ma\u00f1ana he estado en Urgencias. Me han tenido que desencajar la mand\u00edbula. Y no te creas, les ha costado un mont\u00f3n de tiempo. Hasta que ha tomado las riendas el doctor Ayuso no ha habido forma, pues los ATS nunca hab\u00edan tenido que cerrar una quijada a la fuerza, y el m\u00e9dico de guardia no pod\u00eda reprimir el asco que le produc\u00eda contemplar los empastes que proteg\u00edan el incisivo lateral izquierdo del maxilar superior y el segundo premolar derecho del maxilar inferior. \u00a1Y todo por un puto ataque de risa!<\/p>\n<p>Me encontraba tranquilamente cotilleando en esa mierdosa y fascistoide red social llamada Facebook -al mismo tiempo que desayunaba mis 16 pastillas para aliviar el descontrol cerebral y un caf\u00e9 con leche sin leche- cuando de repente he visto que existe un grupo llamado \u00abAmigos Valencia\u00bb y no he podido reprimir una carcajada caballuna que, adem\u00e1s de despertar a medio barrio, ha detenido alguna de mis funciones vitales secundarias, como la masticaci\u00f3n o la degluci\u00f3n. No puedes llegar a imaginarte lo dif\u00edcil que puede llegar a tornarse algo tan simple como ponerse los pantalones con la boca en Stand by. Pero lo peor ha sido ordenarle al taxista d\u00f3nde quer\u00eda que me trasladara. Intenta pronunciar \u00abpor favor, ll\u00e9veme lo m\u00e1s r\u00e1pido posible al hospital m\u00e1s cercano\u00bb con las fauces desarticuladas. O desajustadas. \u00bfDislocadas? En fin&#8230; separadas.<\/p>\n<p>Ahora ya estoy bastante mejor, pero el doctor Ayuso me ha recomendado que no bostece ni piropee en un par de d\u00edas y que s\u00f3lo ingiera l\u00edquidos para comer. Creo que visitar la red de Zuckerberg es disfuncional para mi salud. Hace algunos meses sufr\u00ed un ataque de p\u00e1nico mientras trataba de contar cu\u00e1ntas chonis tengo agregadas. Pero afortunadamente lo super\u00e9 pensando en lo guapo que era mi abuelo cuando naci\u00f3 y el asunto no se desmadr\u00f3 demasiado.<\/p>\n<p>Ahora voy a dejarte. Necesito cambiarte por una fulana que me cuesta 25 Euros la hora. Ya s\u00e9 que lo barato siempre sale caro, pero no quiero gastar m\u00e1s de lo necesario.<\/p>\n<p>\nUn abrazo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Banksy. Laugh now (2002) Ainsssss: Esta ma\u00f1ana he estado en Urgencias. Me han tenido que desencajar la mand\u00edbula. Y no te creas, les ha costado un mont\u00f3n de tiempo. Hasta que ha tomado las riendas el doctor Ayuso no ha habido forma, pues los ATS nunca hab\u00edan tenido que cerrar una quijada a la fuerza, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2059,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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