{"id":2096,"date":"2014-11-05T09:33:00","date_gmt":"2014-11-05T09:33:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:36:08","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:36:08","slug":"email-del-2-de-noviembre-2014","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2014\/11\/05\/email-del-2-de-noviembre-2014\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 2 de noviembre 2014"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/The2BBeautiful2BNarcissus2B-2BHonore2BDaumier2C2B1842.jpg?ssl=1\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/The2BBeautiful2BNarcissus2B-2BHonore2BDaumier2C2B1842.jpg?resize=321%2C400&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-2097\" height=\"400\" width=\"321\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Honore Daumier. <i>The beautiful Narcissus<\/i> (1842)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\nHola:<\/p>\n<p>\nAyer compr\u00e9 tres filetes de ternera de primera calidad. Mientras regresaba a casa en metro record\u00e9 que soy vegetariano, as\u00ed que se los met\u00ed a un adolescente en la mochila sin que se diera cuenta. Hace un par de semanas asist\u00ed a una Santa Misa. El cura, de aspecto bastante cangrejil, nos sermoneaba de lo lindo y maldec\u00eda nuestros pretendidos deseos lujuriosos. De repente, repar\u00e9 en mi condici\u00f3n de ateo furibundo y decid\u00ed salir corriendo de la iglesia, con tan mala fortuna que me tropec\u00e9 con las piernas de una abuela que trataba de acercarse al Supremo en posici\u00f3n de genuflexi\u00f3n. El ruido que mis 80 kilos hicieron al golpear el suelo fue descomunal y algunos corderos de Dios se pusieron a balar y unos pocos huyeron en estampida. Creo que tengo serios problemas de amnesia. Ir\u00eda al m\u00e9dico para que me tratase, pero he olvidado c\u00f3mo se llama, su n\u00famero de tel\u00e9fono, donde tiene la consulta y las medidas corporales de su criada rumana. \u00a1Mierda! \u00a1No quiero seguir envejeciendo! Pero tampoco aguantar\u00eda retroceder uno o varios a\u00f1os en el tiempo. Recuerdo que cuando ten\u00eda 35 tacos era un prodigio de la naturaleza. Me paraban por la calle mujeres, hombres e incluso alg\u00fan que otro animal de compa\u00f1\u00eda y siempre quer\u00edan lavarme los pies. Yo sol\u00eda negarme porque no llevaba encima ninguna palangana y el jab\u00f3n exfoliante para las extremidades que usaba en aquella \u00e9poca era inusitadamente caro.<\/p>\n<p>Quedan dos meses para mi cumplea\u00f1os. Me gustar\u00eda tanto que cayera un meteorito sobre el planeta, as\u00ed me evitar\u00eda pasar por ese mal trago. Adem\u00e1s, ya casi nadie me regala nada, excepto ropa interior. Con toda la que tengo podr\u00eda montar una tienda de \u00abGregory\u00b4s secret\u00bb. A mis amigos les suelen regalar ordenadores, smartphones, consolas o televisores de plasma con pantalla ovalada. Y eso que son m\u00e1s feos, bajitos e ignorantes; y no desprenden la sexualidad salvaje irrefrenable que escapa a borbotones de mi impresionante cuerpo. Menos mal que por encima de todo soy un t\u00edo modesto. Detesto a la gente altiva que incrementa sus cualidades por el mero hecho de sentirse \u00fanico o especial. S\u00f3lo expreso la verdad. Incluso intento minimizarla para que nadie pueda sentirse herido. \u00a1Joder! Soy tan emp\u00e1tico. Y simp\u00e1tico, carism\u00e1tico, diplom\u00e1tico, pragm\u00e1tico y som\u00e1tico. \u00a1Pero me quiero tan poco! Si pudiera doblarme lo suficiente como para poder chup\u00e1rmela ser\u00eda el \u00abser superior\u00bb m\u00e1s feliz del Universo!<\/p>\n<p>\nUn abrazo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Honore Daumier. The beautiful Narcissus (1842) Hola: Ayer compr\u00e9 tres filetes de ternera de primera calidad. Mientras regresaba a casa en metro record\u00e9 que soy vegetariano, as\u00ed que se los met\u00ed a un adolescente en la mochila sin que se diera cuenta. Hace un par de semanas asist\u00ed a una Santa Misa. El cura, de [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2097,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2096","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/The2BBeautiful2BNarcissus2B-2BHonore2BDaumier2C2B1842.jpg?fit=482%2C600&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2096","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2096"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2096\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2097"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2096"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2096"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2096"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}