{"id":2516,"date":"2013-02-03T17:44:00","date_gmt":"2013-02-03T17:44:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:38:54","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:38:54","slug":"segundo-email-del-3-de-febrero-2013_3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2013\/02\/03\/segundo-email-del-3-de-febrero-2013_3\/","title":{"rendered":"Segundo email del 3 de febrero 2013"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/--zLGK7Im9JA\/UQ6hglQYi6I\/AAAAAAAAGTg\/ggCE8L4PH3o\/s1600\/caligula-s-horse-dali-s-horses1971.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/caligula-s-horse-dali-s-horses1971.jpg?resize=270%2C400&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-2517\" width=\"270\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\"><span style=\"color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica; text-align: start;\">Dal\u00ed,&nbsp;<\/span><i style=\"color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica; text-align: start;\">El caballo de Caligula<\/i><span style=\"color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica; text-align: start;\">&nbsp;(1971)<\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>S\u00ed, otra vez soy yo:<\/p>\n<p>Cayo Julio C\u00e9sar Augusto Germ\u00e1nico, m\u00e1s conocido con el sobrenombre de Cal\u00edgula, nombr\u00f3 senador a su caballo Incitato; yo acabo de nombrar virrey a un cimex que he encontrado roncando en mi almohada viscoel\u00e1stica. Por si no lo conoces, el cimex o chinche de las camas es un insecto bastante peque\u00f1ajo y gamberro que se alimenta de la sangre del animal de sangre caliente -humanos incluidos- que tiene m\u00e1s cerca. Y como virrey ha de asumir que dentro de sus competencias est\u00e1 administrar y gobernar la totalidad de mi catre. No creas que es una tarea sencilla, pues entre otros cometidos tiene que llevar una completa relaci\u00f3n de los lavados de s\u00e1banas, vueltas mensuales del colch\u00f3n de l\u00e1tex y otros onerosos menesteres. Para enfatizar su nombramiento, le he bautizado como Lectularius de L\u00f3pez y P\u00e9rez, y su virreinato ser\u00e1 recordado como el m\u00e1s cuerdo dentro de la vesania que caracteriza a su omnipresente Dios, yo. Porque ser\u00e9 el se\u00f1or de toda la habitaci\u00f3n y todo se har\u00e1 siguiendo las tablas de la ley esculpidas sobre mis test\u00edculos. Cada ser racional, irracional, ilusorio o incluso extraterrenal estar\u00e1 obligado a santiguarse doce veces antes de osar mirarme. Y mis esclavos lavar\u00e1n y planchar\u00e1n mi ropa interior y bailar\u00e1n de gozo cada vez que me digne a escupirles. Y cuando crea que se han rebajado lo suficiente, les engatusar\u00e9 con sobres repletos de inmundicias. Y se sentir\u00e1n agradecidos cuando apoye mis sacrosantos pies sobre las bocas de sus hijos, que servir\u00e1n de cojines. Y se martirizar\u00e1n con cilicios dise\u00f1ados especialmente para el vulgo, la plebe, la chusma. Y de mis orejas brotar\u00e1 ambrosia prodigiosa que&#8230; Creo que me he pasado utilizando la conjunci\u00f3n copulativa \u00abY\u00bb. Pero es tan bonita; me recuerda un tirachinas o la horquilla de un zahor\u00ed. Hace a\u00f1os alguien, no recuerdo exactamente qui\u00e9n, me regal\u00f3 un monoptongo de cobre. Yo quer\u00eda una consonante oclusiva y me enfad\u00e9 con \u00e9l. Para que hici\u00e9ramos las paces, la hermana del sujeto me entreg\u00f3 su \u00abY\u00bb preferida, la que guardaba entre sus pechos, y desde entonces me enamor\u00e9 de la letra, de la hermana, de sus pechos y de un taxista hermafrodita que pasaba por all\u00ed en esos momentos.<\/p>\n<p>\nUn queso (ya no me quedan besos)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dal\u00ed,&nbsp;El caballo de Caligula&nbsp;(1971) S\u00ed, otra vez soy yo: Cayo Julio C\u00e9sar Augusto Germ\u00e1nico, m\u00e1s conocido con el sobrenombre de Cal\u00edgula, nombr\u00f3 senador a su caballo Incitato; yo acabo de nombrar virrey a un cimex que he encontrado roncando en mi almohada viscoel\u00e1stica. Por si no lo conoces, el cimex o chinche de las camas [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2517,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2516","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/caligula-s-horse-dali-s-horses1971.jpg?fit=270%2C400&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2516","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2516"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2516\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2517"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2516"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2516"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2516"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}