{"id":2868,"date":"2012-01-08T08:15:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-08T08:15:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:40:39","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:40:39","slug":"email-del-8-de-enero-2012","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2012\/01\/08\/email-del-8-de-enero-2012\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 8 de enero 2012"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/-DxIVcDU_hLM\/TwmlCgvldGI\/AAAAAAAAFLU\/p-g49sMMK1w\/s1600\/CaillebotteRib%2Bof%2BBeef1882%2B.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" height=\"273\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/CaillebotteRibofBeef1882.jpg?resize=400%2C273&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-2869\" width=\"400\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Gustave Caillebotte, <i>\u00abC\u00f4te de boeuf\u00bb <\/i>(1882)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\nHola, querida:<\/p>\n<p>\nDentro de unos pocos d\u00edas cumplir\u00e9 cincuenta tacos. \u00a1Medio siglo! Y pienso celebrarlo denunciando a Dios en los tribunales. Como dispongo de un buen abogado, reci\u00e9n salidito del Centro de Inserci\u00f3n Social Victoria Kent y con experiencia en casos dif\u00edciles, estoy casi convencido de que podr\u00e9 sacarle medio para\u00edso celestial y, si hay suerte, un par de \u00e1ngeles para que me arropen vestidos con picard\u00edas de gasa atrevidos y sofisticados cada una de las noches de mi futura existencia, si es que me queda algo de futura existencia. \u00a1Me encanta denunciar y ser denunciado! En estos dieciocho mil d\u00edas de vida he sido denunciado en varias ocasiones. Esta es la lista (casi) completa:<\/p>\n<p>Enero de 1962: Mi padre me denunci\u00f3 por cohecho cuando intent\u00e9 sobornarlo para que me diera m\u00e1s amor y cari\u00f1o.<br \/>\nAbril de 1977: Mi mejor amiga me denunci\u00f3 por tocamientos imp\u00fadicos, l\u00fabricos y libidinosos demasiado pulcros, recatados y pudorosos.<br \/>\nDiciembre de 1985: Me denunci\u00e9 a m\u00ed mismo por malversaci\u00f3n de fondos y por no estar de acuerdo en casi nada.<br \/>\nMayo de 2010: Una camionera llamada Lucy Tatoo me denunci\u00f3 por que le sali\u00f3 del toto (palabras textuales).<\/p>\n<p>Pero, no te equivoques, tambi\u00e9n he denunciado a m\u00e1s de uno y he disfrutado viendo su cara avinagrada sentada en el banquillo mientras contemplaba como perd\u00eda el juicio. Porque yo jam\u00e1s he perdido ninguno:<\/p>\n<p>Junio de 1984: Denunci\u00e9 a mi vecino Ferm\u00edn por abusar de un bistec strogonoff.<br \/>\nDiciembre de 1985: Me denunci\u00e9 a m\u00ed mismo por malversaci\u00f3n de fondos y por no estar de acuerdo en casi nada.<br \/>\nEnero de 1999: Denunci\u00e9 al sacerdote de la parroquia vecinal por ser gordo.<br \/>\nMayo de 2007: Denunci\u00e9 a mi ficus preferido porque entr\u00f3 en una etapa clor\u00edtica.<\/p>\n<p>Seguramente te preguntar\u00e1s: \u00bfqu\u00e9 narices me importa lo que este tipo me est\u00e1 contando? Pues tienes toda la raz\u00f3n; ni siquiera me interesa a m\u00ed, si te lo cuento es simplemente porque no se me ocurre absolutamente nada que escribirte, pues el pensamiento frustrante sobre mi inminente aniversario paraliza a mis viejas y cansadas neuronas y, sobre todo, proporciona dolor y pesadumbre a mi ajado \u00abaqu\u00ed y ahora\u00bb, m\u00e1s pendiente del desayuno que de otra cosa. As\u00ed que como dijo el margrave de Brandeburgo, Hans-J\u00fcrgen Kreuzpaintner: \u00abme retiro a la intimidad de mis pensamientos\u00bb.<\/p>\n<p>\nBesos.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gustave Caillebotte, \u00abC\u00f4te de boeuf\u00bb (1882) Hola, querida: Dentro de unos pocos d\u00edas cumplir\u00e9 cincuenta tacos. \u00a1Medio siglo! Y pienso celebrarlo denunciando a Dios en los tribunales. Como dispongo de un buen abogado, reci\u00e9n salidito del Centro de Inserci\u00f3n Social Victoria Kent y con experiencia en casos dif\u00edciles, estoy casi convencido de que podr\u00e9 sacarle [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2869,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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