{"id":2874,"date":"2012-01-04T07:29:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-04T07:29:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:40:41","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:40:41","slug":"email-del-4-de-enero-2012","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2012\/01\/04\/email-del-4-de-enero-2012\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 4 de enero 2012"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/-atClthW5pGs\/TwQ4ILgZyhI\/AAAAAAAAFK4\/wt8p1KQwhho\/s1600\/leePrice-BostonCream.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" height=\"292\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/leePrice-BostonCream.jpg?resize=400%2C292&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-2875\" width=\"400\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Email del 4 de enero 2012<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\nQuerida:<\/p>\n<p>\n\u00bfQu\u00e9 te van a traer los reyes? Yo he pedido un caf\u00e9 con leche. \u00a1A ver c\u00f3mo me lo traen sin derramarlo por la azotea! La verdad es que estuve tentado de pedirles que uno de los tres me hiciera un Lomi-lomi, ya sabes, un masaje hawaiano combinado con una sesi\u00f3n de musicoterapia, pero entiendo que \u00e9sto les retrasar\u00eda y alg\u00fan pobre ni\u00f1o podr\u00eda sufrir las consecuencias desarrollando una futura psicopat\u00eda.<\/p>\n<p>Si tiene algo de bueno estar a diez d\u00edas de cumplir los cincuenta es que pr\u00e1cticamente he dejado atr\u00e1s las putas fiestas navide\u00f1as y todo lo que \u00e9stas conllevan (turr\u00f3n, zambomba e indigestiones) y una nueva primavera se vislumbra; claro que antes de llegar a ella tendremos -los valencianos- que pasar por esa fiesta vomitiva y fascista, llamada Fallas, por los ac\u00f3litos que la defienden, y \u00abRita imitando a un ot\u00e1rido en el balc\u00f3n del ayuntamiento\u00bb, por los seres racionales que las odian. Afortunadamente, a\u00fan quedan poco m\u00e1s de dos meses, as\u00ed que he decidido volver a escribir en el blog y sobre todo empezar un peque\u00f1o libro de cuentos al que titular\u00e9 \u00bb Relatos terap\u00e9uticos y descontracturantes\u00bb. Ya casi tengo pensado el argumento del primero: un yacar\u00e9 sedado micciona delante de una garza mora (Ardea cocoi) provoc\u00e1ndole una alteraci\u00f3n nerviosa por la que queda incapacitada para dar saltitos mientras piensa en el futuro. Est\u00e1 claro que no es un argumento como para ser digno de un premio tipo Pr\u00edncipe de Asturias, pero estoy seguro de que una vez desarrollado, junto a los otros diez relatos de corte similar de los que constara el volumen, levantar\u00e1n mi ego hasta l\u00edmites insospechados y si, de paso, levanta mi cuenta bancaria, bastante adormecida actualmente, el asunto puede llegar a ponerse realmente interesante.<\/p>\n<p>En fin, no me enrollo m\u00e1s, a\u00fan tengo que ducharme y untarme con la crema revitalizadora de Loreal antes de salir pitando al m\u00e9dico de cabecera para intentar convencerle de que \u00e9l es guapo y la vida bella, pues est\u00e1 pasando una mala racha y \u00faltimamente fantasea demasiado con un posible suicidio. Ma\u00f1ana, si empiezo a ganar confianza, te escribo otro email m\u00e1s largo y menos imb\u00e9cil que el que, supongo, acabas de leer (o experimentar).<\/p>\n<p>\nBesos.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Email del 4 de enero 2012 Querida: \u00bfQu\u00e9 te van a traer los reyes? Yo he pedido un caf\u00e9 con leche. \u00a1A ver c\u00f3mo me lo traen sin derramarlo por la azotea! La verdad es que estuve tentado de pedirles que uno de los tres me hiciera un Lomi-lomi, ya sabes, un masaje hawaiano combinado [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2875,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/leePrice-BostonCream.jpg?fit=400%2C293&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2874","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2874"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2874\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2875"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}