{"id":3148,"date":"2011-01-11T09:03:00","date_gmt":"2011-01-11T09:03:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:42:01","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:42:01","slug":"email-del-11-de-enero-2011-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2011\/01\/11\/email-del-11-de-enero-2011-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 11 de enero 2011"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

\n<\/a><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n
\nFrancisco de Goya, \u00abDos viejos comiendo sopa\u00bb (1820-21)<\/span><\/div>\n
\n<\/div>\n

<\/b><\/div>\n
Breve tratado acerca del envejecimiento humano<\/b><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

Conozco a un tipo que el d\u00eda de su quincuag\u00e9simo cumplea\u00f1os se comi\u00f3 51 huevos duros. S\u00ed, ya s\u00e9 que tendr\u00eda que haber zampado s\u00f3lo 50, pero cuando iba por 34 se descont\u00f3. Cito este caso simplemente como ejemplo de trastorno mental transitorio, debido a las anormalidades o perturbaciones que acarrean el envejecimiento, ese conjunto de modificaciones morfol\u00f3gicas y fisiol\u00f3gicas que nos recuerdan que pasa el tiempo.<\/p>\n

A 3 d\u00edas de mi cumplea\u00f1os -el viernes cumplo 50 por tercera vez consecutiva-, me asaltan miles de preguntas sin respuesta, al mismo tiempo que siento una extra\u00f1a picaz\u00f3n en el saco escrotal que no me impide  concentrarme en la preparaci\u00f3n de mi sagrada merienda. \u00bfPor qu\u00e9 nos hacemos mayores? \u00bfHasta qu\u00e9 edad llegar\u00e9? \u00bfPor qu\u00e9 cuesta tanta dinero una silla de ruedas?<\/p>\n

Hace un rato me mir\u00e9 en el espejo y aunque es posible que se tratara de  una alucinaci\u00f3n, estoy casi seguro de que le escuch\u00e9 descojonarse. Es posible que no lo hiciera por mis arrugas y s\u00ed por mi bata azul celeste de tela polar con bolsillo de Homer Simpson. \u00a1\u00a1\u00a1 Menos mal que no me puse la de guatin\u00e9 !!!<\/p>\n

Mi vaso de leche de soja de la marca blanca del supermercado se est\u00e1 enfriando, no es algo que verdaderamente me importe. Tampoco me importa demasiado que el vaso que la contiene y que impide que se derrame sobre la encimera sea de color rosita. Lo \u00fanico que realmente me afecta de esta situaci\u00f3n es la vecina de arriba. Tiene cerca de ochocientos a\u00f1os y est\u00e1 mejor f\u00edsica y mentalmente que yo. Incluso cuando, como ahora, canturrea una est\u00fapida canci\u00f3n de Julio Iglesias, no la est\u00e1 destrozando, sino que incluso supera (la ya de por si mejorable) versi\u00f3n del autor.<\/p>\n

En resumidas cuentas: envejecer es un fastidio. A los hombres les salen pelos en las orejas y a las mujeres bigote. Conozco a una a la que sus hijos llaman \u00abWidfreda la vellosa\u00bb, aunque ser\u00eda m\u00e1s correcto referirse a ella como \u00abla Kaiser Guillerma\u00bb, en honor al mostacho de Wilhelm Friedrich Ludwig, emperador de Alemania en el siglo XVII.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Francisco de Goya, \u00abDos viejos comiendo sopa\u00bb (1820-21) Breve tratado acerca del envejecimiento humano Conozco a un tipo que el d\u00eda de su quincuag\u00e9simo cumplea\u00f1os se comi\u00f3 51 huevos duros. S\u00ed, ya s\u00e9 que tendr\u00eda que haber zampado s\u00f3lo 50, pero cuando iba por 34 se descont\u00f3. Cito este caso simplemente como ejemplo de […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3149,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/goya_viejos.jpg?fit=400%2C252&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3148"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3148\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3149"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}