{"id":3732,"date":"2022-11-20T17:17:58","date_gmt":"2022-11-20T17:17:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/?p=3732"},"modified":"2022-11-20T20:00:23","modified_gmt":"2022-11-20T20:00:23","slug":"email-del-20-de-noviembre-2022","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2022\/11\/20\/email-del-20-de-noviembre-2022\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 20 de noviembre 2022"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-afd0ba2e wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\" style=\"padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\" style=\"padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-medium\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"346\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Pierre-Bonnard.-Toilet-with-a-bouquet-red-and-yellow-1913.jpg?resize=346%2C400&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3733\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Pierre-Bonnard.-Toilet-with-a-bouquet-red-and-yellow-1913.jpg?resize=346%2C400&amp;ssl=1 346w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Pierre-Bonnard.-Toilet-with-a-bouquet-red-and-yellow-1913.jpg?resize=887%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 887w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Pierre-Bonnard.-Toilet-with-a-bouquet-red-and-yellow-1913.jpg?resize=768%2C887&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Pierre-Bonnard.-Toilet-with-a-bouquet-red-and-yellow-1913.jpg?w=1280&amp;ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 346px) 100vw, 346px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Pierre Bonnard. <em>Toilet with a bouquet red and yellow <\/em>(1913)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:15px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Amiga:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Me encontraba vaciando los intestinos cuando de repente son\u00f3 la puerta. No es que la puerta se pusiera a emitir sonidos, sino que alguien apret\u00f3 con ganas el timbre que sirve para avisar de que hay gente (generalmente imb\u00e9ciles) al otro lado. Me sub\u00ed los pantalones con una rapidez inusitada para un tipo de mi edad y me dirig\u00ed con los ojos sanguinolentos a asesinar al gilipollas de turno, pero a mitad de recorrido me qued\u00e9 totalmente paralizado y toda mi vida pas\u00f3 y bail\u00f3 alrededor m\u00edo. Mientras los hechos pasados se pegaban por emitirse en el receptor de mi cerebro, el imb\u00e9cil del otro lado segu\u00eda llamando a la puerta como si ese fuera el \u00faltimo d\u00eda de la raza humana en la Tierra. En un momento dado, mis manos dejaron de asir el pantal\u00f3n que cay\u00f3 hasta quedarse descansando sobre mis tobillos, y mis genitales, normalmente impacientes, quedaron expuestos y ofrecidos al mejor postor. Menos mal que en esos instantes el \u00fanico postor era un <em>Lepisma<\/em> que correteaba con dicha por la ventura de una pared. Supongo que habr\u00edan pasado unos 30 minutos, aunque a m\u00ed me parecieron 32, quiz\u00e1 33, cuando la fuerza que paralizaba mi cuerpo sali\u00f3 disparada por una ventana y me dej\u00f3 la cuenta sobre una mesita baja que normalmente hace de consola: 256 euros por la paralizaci\u00f3n y 25 euros de IVA. Cabread\u00edsimo, abr\u00ed la puerta para apalear al que instantes antes la aporreaba como un poseso pero ya no hab\u00eda nadie, solo una factura descansando satisfecha sobre el suelo. La agarr\u00e9 con desd\u00e9n y pude leer que la empresa dedicada a molestar, INCORDIA S.A., me hab\u00eda multado por no recibirles con 60 Euros (IVA incluido). Intent\u00e9 respirar profundamente pero sin duda me pas\u00e9 de profundidad porque casi esnifo la alfombrita que recibe a los visitantes con un \u00a1L\u00e1rgate! bien grande y claramente legible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Puedes creerte o no lo relatado en el anterior p\u00e1rrafo, pero te aseguro de que TODO es real y que TODO me sucedi\u00f3 hace un par de d\u00edas. Desde entonces ya no he vuelto a intentar evacuar. Seguramente por esa raz\u00f3n mi abdomen parece una esfera armilar o una alcanc\u00eda. Te juro por Avalokitesvara que ni siquiera tengo ganas de prohijar, frutecer, ni cesantear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Greg<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Amiga: Me encontraba vaciando los intestinos cuando de repente son\u00f3 la puerta. No es que la puerta se pusiera a emitir sonidos, sino que alguien apret\u00f3 con ganas el timbre que sirve para avisar de que hay gente (generalmente imb\u00e9ciles) al otro lado. Me sub\u00ed los pantalones con una rapidez inusitada para un tipo de [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3732","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3732"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3732\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3738,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3732\/revisions\/3738"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3732"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3732"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3732"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}