{"id":670,"date":"2020-04-07T14:46:00","date_gmt":"2020-04-07T14:46:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:28:22","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:28:22","slug":"email-del-7-de-abril-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2020\/04\/07\/email-del-7-de-abril-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 7 de abril 2020"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-VvT0OMCTWMY\/XoyRaIs445I\/AAAAAAAAncM\/_306Ge2Yf2U37ft2vvar1ocGzQBRdKfFACLcBGAsYHQ\/s1600\/telephone.jpg%2521Large.jpg?ssl=1\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"991\" data-original-width=\"700\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/telephone.jpg2521Large.jpg?resize=282%2C400&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-671\" width=\"282\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Andy Warhol. <i>Telephone <\/i>(1961)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\n<i>Ma tr\u00e8s ch\u00e8re:&nbsp;<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Esta ma\u00f1ana me he asomado a la taza del inodoro, pues no me atrev\u00eda a sacar la cabeza por la ventana. Imaginaba que si lo hac\u00eda un bichito perteneciente a la estirpe COVID-19 saltar\u00eda los 25 metros que me separan del suelo y se agarrar\u00eda a mi cara como la prot\u00e9rvica larva del xenoformo parasitoide del alien de Ridley Scott. S\u00ed, lo s\u00e9, a veces puedo llegar a ser m\u00e1s mani\u00e1tico que un picozapato. Pero qu\u00e9 se puede esperar de un neurast\u00e9nico hidr\u00f3pico, medroso, fullero, asocial, disocial, antisocial y, en ocasiones, pestilencial.<\/p>\n<p>Despu\u00e9s de cerrar la tapa del v\u00e1ter y asegurarme de que nadie desde el interior podr\u00eda abrirla, me he dedicado a jugar conmigo mismo a la pizpiriga\u00f1a hasta que una perspicua llamada de tel\u00e9fono me ha devuelto a la realidad&#8230;<br \/>\n-\u00bfHola?<br \/>\n-Buenos d\u00edas. \u00bfEl se\u00f1or Gregorio, por favor?<br \/>\n-S\u00ed. Soy yo. \u00bfQu\u00e9 desea?<br \/>\n-\u00bfEs usted Gregorio L\u00f3pez P\u00e9rez?<br \/>\n-\u00a1El mismo!<br \/>\n-\u00bfEl hijo de Gregorio L\u00f3pez Garc\u00eda?<br \/>\n-Por desgracia, s\u00ed, ejem&#8230; quiero decir que s\u00ed, soy su hijo. \u00bfMe va a decir qu\u00e9 es lo que quiere?<br \/>\n-\u00bfGregorio, el hijo de Mar\u00eda del Carmen?<br \/>\n-S\u00ed, soy Gregorio L\u00f3pez P\u00e9rez, el hijo de Gregorio y Mari Carmen&#8230;<br \/>\n-\u00bfEl mismo Gregorio que vive en el distrito postal 46020?<br \/>\n-\u00a1No! Lo siento. No soy Gregorio L\u00f3pez, sino su amante Eberarda. Si nota mi voz demasiado grave es porque trago mucho semen&#8230;<br \/>\n-\u00bfEl mismo Gregorio que se hace pasar por un despotricador anhed\u00f3nico en un blog que no lee nadie?<br \/>\n-\u00bfEsto es una broma, verdad?<br \/>\n-\u00bfEl nieto de Vicente y Narcisa?<br \/>\n-\u00a1Que le den! Voy a colgar&#8230;<br \/>\n-\u00bfEl bisnieto de Tom\u00e1s y Hortensia? \u00bfEl tataranieto de Fabriciano y P\u00e1nfila? \u00bfEl chozno de Regino y Salvadora? \u00bfSus trastatarabuelos fueron Victoriano y Melchora? \u00bfY sus pentabuelos, Sandalio y Otilia? \u00bfY sus hexabuelos, Herminio y Lorenza? \u00bfY sus heptabuelos, Custodio y Epigmena? \u00bfY sus octabuelos, Amalio y Feliciana? \u00bfY sus nonabuelos, Expiraci\u00f3n y Heriberto? \u00bfY sus decabuelos, Floro y Jacoba?<br \/>\n-Pero&#8230; \u00bfPero esto qu\u00e9 es?<br \/>\n-Si usted es ese Gregorio L\u00f3pez P\u00e9rez, entonces creo que me he equivocado. Lo siento. \u00a1Adi\u00f3s!<\/p>\n<p>Como comprender\u00e1s tas, quiero decir, tras&#8230; \u00a1Todav\u00eda sigo conmocionado! Tras la llamada me sent\u00e9 sobre mi perro Gongo y me fum\u00e9 una reproducci\u00f3n de un m\u00fasculo dig\u00e1strico de metal que hasta ese momento me hab\u00eda servido de pisapapeles. Luego, inspir\u00e9, espir\u00e9 y a punto estuve de expirar, con equis. Sin embargo trat\u00e9 de recomponerme an\u00edmicamente haciendo 1700 flexiones declinadas sin interrupci\u00f3n. Cuando termin\u00e9 de ducharme tras el machacamiento intensivo me entraron ganas de socializar con un polic\u00eda, as\u00ed que saqu\u00e9 la testa por la ventana, esta vez la de verdad, y a punto estuve de gritarle a los dos agentes que vigilaban los confinamientos que iba a bajar a la calle desnudo para que puntuaran del 0 al 10 las exquisitas redondeces de mis gl\u00fateos.<\/p>\n<p>Greg<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Andy Warhol. Telephone (1961) Ma tr\u00e8s ch\u00e8re:&nbsp; Esta ma\u00f1ana me he asomado a la taza del inodoro, pues no me atrev\u00eda a sacar la cabeza por la ventana. Imaginaba que si lo hac\u00eda un bichito perteneciente a la estirpe COVID-19 saltar\u00eda los 25 metros que me separan del suelo y se agarrar\u00eda a mi cara [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":671,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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