{"id":674,"date":"2020-04-05T14:04:00","date_gmt":"2020-04-05T14:04:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:28:23","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:28:23","slug":"email-del-5-de-abril-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2020\/04\/05\/email-del-5-de-abril-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 5 de abril 2020"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-DnNmEv8nidk\/XonkPpKddnI\/AAAAAAAAnXg\/-u5i5U-HRdMT0u8vwJJbBVCC4HRRopY-wCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1600\/Pinturas-hiperrealistas-de-Roberto-Bernardi-2.jpg?ssl=1\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"835\" data-original-width=\"900\" height=\"370\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Pinturas-hiperrealistas-de-Roberto-Bernardi-2.jpg?resize=400%2C370&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-675\" width=\"400\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Roberto Bernardi. <i>Supermarket <\/i>(21st century)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\nAmiga:<\/p>\n<p>El viernes pasado fui a comprar a un supermercado. Como carezco de mascarilla me proteg\u00ed la boca y la nariz con una rebanada de pan Bimbo con corteza, ya sabes, el cl\u00e1sico de toda la vida. Cuando me puse delante de la cajera dispuesto a pagar mi compra se acerc\u00f3 uno de los de seguridad, y con cara de trasgo \u00edngrimo me recrimin\u00f3 mi actitud, seg\u00fan \u00e9l, excesivamente socarrona. Estaba claro, aunque \u00e9l nunca se dio cuenta, que despu\u00e9s de m\u00e1s de un mes soportando al patarata COVID-19 mi paciencia hab\u00eda llegado a un punto sin retorno, as\u00ed que sin mediar palabra saqu\u00e9 de uno de los bolsillos mi varita m\u00e1gica telesc\u00f3pica y transform\u00e9 al segurata en una faja moldeadora y contenitiva de color crema. A los pocos segundos del acontecimiento m\u00e1gico dos tipas que hac\u00edan cola se arrojaron de cabeza a por la prenda. Te juro por Cosme Engracia, el amante \u00e1grafo y eg\u00f3tico de tu t\u00eda Esmeralda, que cuando sal\u00ed del establecimiento todav\u00eda se peleaban por el delusivo ce\u00f1idor, m\u00e1s o menos el\u00e1stico.<\/p>\n<p>Despu\u00e9s de aprovisionarme de v\u00edveres me dirig\u00ed a la farmacia. Al entrar el farmac\u00f3logo me pidi\u00f3 que que me quitara la rebanada porque no entend\u00eda lo que le dec\u00eda. Yo le respond\u00ed que acababa de decir \u00abhola\u00bb, sin embargo \u00e9l segu\u00eda en sus trece y cuando le ped\u00ed Hemorrane me trajo Vagisil. Como cre\u00eda que me estaba vacilando volv\u00ed a sacar la varita y lo transform\u00e9 en una estatua de arenisca que representaba al furor uterino desquiciado. Al percatarme de que era el \u00fanico boticario en esos momentos, salt\u00e9 el mostrador y me llev\u00e9 todos los geles hidroalc\u00f3holicos, guantes de l\u00e1tex y laxantes que pude conseguir. Tuve mucha suerte porque justo cuando sal\u00eda hacia la calle entr\u00f3 una anciana con aspecto de lambrucia superferol\u00edtica que me mir\u00f3 durante casi un minuto de una manera asquerosamente despectiva.<\/p>\n<p>Antes de subir la escalera para dirigirme a mi domicilio me sent\u00e9 sobre el suelo del cuarto de los contadores, pues sab\u00eda que all\u00ed estaba seguro de que no me ver\u00eda ni la poli ni el ej\u00e9rcito, y llegu\u00e9 a una extraordinaria conclusi\u00f3n que no deber\u00eda dejar indiferente a nadie: aunque suenen fon\u00e9ticamente similares, \u00abBochinche\u00bb y \u00abBuchinche\u00bb tienen significados totalmente diferentes.<\/p>\n<p>\nGreg \u00abSilueta integral\u00bb L\u00f3pez<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Roberto Bernardi. Supermarket (21st century) Amiga: El viernes pasado fui a comprar a un supermercado. Como carezco de mascarilla me proteg\u00ed la boca y la nariz con una rebanada de pan Bimbo con corteza, ya sabes, el cl\u00e1sico de toda la vida. Cuando me puse delante de la cajera dispuesto a pagar mi compra se [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":675,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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