{"id":680,"date":"2020-04-02T13:44:00","date_gmt":"2020-04-02T13:44:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:28:24","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:28:24","slug":"email-del-2-de-abril-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2020\/04\/02\/email-del-2-de-abril-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 2 de abril 2020"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-3ZzvmQTiSIk\/XoXrg5ijYGI\/AAAAAAAAnPg\/by1M6V61ZK09olvOtu6FXmtVp0OBluafgCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1600\/unnamed.jpg?ssl=1\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"480\" data-original-width=\"700\" height=\"273\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/unnamed.jpg?resize=400%2C273&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-681\" width=\"400\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Jos\u00e9 Guadalupe Posada. <i>El fin del mundo<\/i> (1910)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\nHola:<\/p>\n<p>Ayer, mientras me encontraba en modo desquiciado hice una tonter\u00eda: tir\u00e9 por la ventana el gayumbo que me convert\u00eda en el superh\u00e9roe Superdespotricador Superanhed\u00f3nico. Algunos otros superh\u00e9roes dependen de un cintur\u00f3n o un anillo para transformarse en los defensores del bien sobre el mal o de las jodidas injusticias. Yo, con mi calzoncillo puesto, era capaz de volar m\u00e1s de ocho horas seguidas, como un superh\u00e9roe superconocido; de acelerar mi metabolismo, como otro superh\u00e9roe superfamoso; de columpiarme a altas velocidades, como un superh\u00e9roe superrenombrado; de lanzar rayos energ\u00e9ticos, como otro superh\u00e9roe superc\u00e9lebre; de lobotomizar a los villanos de turno, como otro superh\u00e9roe superpopular, y de desbaratar entuertos con el poder de la mente, como ning\u00fan otro superh\u00e9roe conocido, si exceptuamos a la superternera Urania, la vaca del t\u00edo Engracio que, gracias a una fuerza c\u00f3smica proveniente de otra dimensi\u00f3n, se convirti\u00f3 en una res capaz de despegar del suelo y aterrizar sobre la superficie de Urano en 12.5 segundos.<\/p>\n<p>En estos instantes me encuentro en modo superviviente. Es un modo c\u00f3modo que me permite rascarme el culo con deleite. Por supuesto siempre que est\u00e9 en una posici\u00f3n razonable. Mientras trato de calcular cu\u00e1ntos d\u00edas faltan para que el (o la) COVID-19 entre en mi cuerpo y me obligue a luchar por mi vida, trato de rememorar algunas secuencias de mi existencia. Sin embargo solo me vienen a la cabeza escenas de mi futuro deceso. Porque como exsuperh\u00e9roe, soy mortal. Es m\u00e1s, yo dir\u00eda que supermortal. Aunque despu\u00e9s de haber escuchado tantas supergilipolleces y haber vivido tanta supermierda en mis a\u00f1os anteriores, estoy superconvencido de que la muerte, o la supermuerte, es una especie de superobsequio. Y nada me persuade m\u00e1s de ello que recordar las certeras palabras de la superternera Urania: \u00abMuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Muuuuuuuuuuuu. Muu, muu. Mu. Mu. Mu. Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuu\u00bb.<\/p>\n<p>El modo superviviente ha dado paso al modo algol\u00e1gnico pasivo. No es una forma o manera sensata, pero me permite automutilarme. Las dos orejas que descansan sobre el suelo laminado marca Faus eran m\u00edas. Ahora pertenecen al universo. Ayer le\u00ed que el coronavirus no ataca a los desorejados. Y aunque de alguna manera todav\u00eda no me siento como Hoichi, en lo m\u00e1s profundo de mi coraz\u00f3n s\u00e9 que sobrevivir\u00e9 a esta debacle sin tener que volver a escuchar ni una puta vez m\u00e1s la canci\u00f3n del Duo Din\u00e1mico. Y eso me reconforta sobremanera.<\/p>\n<p>G<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jos\u00e9 Guadalupe Posada. El fin del mundo (1910) Hola: Ayer, mientras me encontraba en modo desquiciado hice una tonter\u00eda: tir\u00e9 por la ventana el gayumbo que me convert\u00eda en el superh\u00e9roe Superdespotricador Superanhed\u00f3nico. Algunos otros superh\u00e9roes dependen de un cintur\u00f3n o un anillo para transformarse en los defensores del bien sobre el mal o de [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":681,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/unnamed.jpg?fit=400%2C274&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/680","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=680"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/680\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/681"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}