{"id":768,"date":"2020-01-25T15:19:00","date_gmt":"2020-01-25T15:19:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2022-06-30T11:28:52","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T11:28:52","slug":"email-del-25-de-enero-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/index.php\/2020\/01\/25\/email-del-25-de-enero-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"Email del 25 de enero 2020"},"content":{"rendered":"<table align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" class=\"tr-caption-container\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-CxAs_99S0yk\/XixcP9-xRJI\/AAAAAAAAh-8\/ms9usDBqW584A7wJRgqII9SltRuHOUtFQCLcBGAsYHQ\/s1600\/7f237b2be61d68f694305daf7bd8e75a.jpg?ssl=1\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" data-original-height=\"1000\" data-original-width=\"788\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/eldespotricadoranhedonico.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/7f237b2be61d68f694305daf7bd8e75a.jpg?resize=315%2C400&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-769\" width=\"315\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"tr-caption\" style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small;\">Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. <i>The bartender<\/i> (1900)<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>\nQuerida:<\/p>\n<p>Seg\u00fan su versi\u00f3n, fui yo el que le lanz\u00f3 a la cara el plato de atascaburras ga\u00f1\u00e1n. Pero no fue as\u00ed. El tipo me estaba sirviendo esa delicia manchega y se le ocurri\u00f3 preguntarme qu\u00e9 me hab\u00eda parecido la ensalada, a lo que yo le contest\u00e9 que las hab\u00eda comido much\u00edsimo mejores. De repente frunci\u00f3 el ce\u00f1o (o quiz\u00e1 ce\u00f1\u00f3 el fruncio, no lo recuerdo bien), cogi\u00f3 el plato de la bandeja y se lo aplast\u00f3 contra su rostro al mismo tiempo que gritaba que yo era un cafre y que me iba a denunciar a las autoridades competentes. Estaba claro que el camarero pertenec\u00eda al club C.A. (cenutrios en acci\u00f3n, <i>assholes in action<\/i> en ingl\u00e9s), por lo que decid\u00ed atajar sus berridos poni\u00e9ndome a cantar a voz en grito. Interpret\u00e9 la canci\u00f3n principal de Los Payasos de la Tele, ya sabes, el programa de Gaby, Fof\u00f3 y Miliki (con Fofito) como si de una mir\u00edfica pieza de <i>bel canto<\/i> se tratase, hasta que lleg\u00f3 una pareja de polis que me obligaron, tanto a m\u00ed como al camata, que todav\u00eda segu\u00eda en pleno trastorno ciclot\u00edmico invocando a Dios, al Papa Francisco y a su anciana madre, a cerrar los picos de inmediato o ser\u00edamos sancionados muy seriamente (sic).<\/p>\n<p>Como la gente no paraba de llegar para ver en qu\u00e9 terminaba el asunto, el due\u00f1o del restaurante se vio obligado a intervenir y nos pidi\u00f3 calma a todos. Mientras explicaba que su camarero era un sujeto \u00abespecial\u00bb y que en ocasiones explotaba como una olla a presi\u00f3n de la marca Taurus, un rat\u00f3n se le subi\u00f3 a su subordinado anosogn\u00f3sico por la pernera del pantal\u00f3n y le mordi\u00f3 en los cojones. Por lo menos eso nos dijo a todos volviendo a bramar y demostr\u00e1ndonos que a desga\u00f1itarse solo era superado por el padre Yod, el l\u00edder espiritual del culto religioso Ya Ho Wha 13. Pero ni su jefe, ni los maderos, ni nadie vio al jodido roedor. Cuando propuse a los polis que llamaran a un loquero capacitado y competente, el camarero con el rostro todav\u00eda bastante afeado por algunos trozos de patatas, ajos y bacalao dibuj\u00f3 un gesto altivo con las manos y se convirti\u00f3 delante de todos en Shub-Niggurath, la cabra negra de los bosques concebida por Lovecraft, aunque sin sus diez mil v\u00e1stagos, afortunadamente.<\/p>\n<p>Lo que sucedi\u00f3 a continuaci\u00f3n es algo que est\u00e1 por encima de lo que un vulgar humanito de cara abuhada y occipucio aherrojado como yo puede llegar a comprender, y mucho menos a explicar, pero desde entonces nunca he vuelto a ser el mismo hijo de puta embarullador y embustero.<\/p>\n<p>\nG<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. The bartender (1900) Querida: Seg\u00fan su versi\u00f3n, fui yo el que le lanz\u00f3 a la cara el plato de atascaburras ga\u00f1\u00e1n. Pero no fue as\u00ed. El tipo me estaba sirviendo esa delicia manchega y se le ocurri\u00f3 preguntarme qu\u00e9 me hab\u00eda parecido la ensalada, a lo que yo le contest\u00e9 que las [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":769,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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